Saturday, February 25, 2006

More Ramblings about Guests

In the continuing saga of the Guests, they have found a place and will be moving out tomorrow. LB and I have GRACIOUSLY said we would watch Kid. I think we will take him to a local park and let him run.

LB & I spent a lot of time with Kid today. Kid really hacked me off. He was rude and disrespectful to his mother, LB and to me. What finally got to me was to find out he had been stealing candy and lying. I know it seems small when written so plainly like that. LB was teaching Kid about wrestling moves, we have a tickle war and all of a sudden candy is coming from his pockets. LOTS of candy. Once most of the candy had been taken away Kid got REALLY disrespectful and nyah nyahed. Then Kid went on the defensive with a closed fist. That was it for me. He went stomping up the stairs muttering rudeness and I went up after him, scooped him up and would not let him go.

I am really stubborn at times and no Kid was going to treat anybody that way in my house. He accused me of lying. I hadn't. Got smart about who earned the money, his dad, and that everything must be dad's. I've dealt with this philosophy before. As I am holding him in a controlled fashion I reminded him that the clothes on his body and his new shoes had been paid for with dad's money. So had the TV, his video games etc... Kid was speechless for a few seconds anyway.

LB came up and we held this kid together. Kid whined and I told him clearly that in order for him to gain release he had to follow the rules, which he naturally could not remember. My rules are real hard (yeah right) He would be respectful to all people at my house. That is where we started. Kid again whined he wanted up. Not until he could tell me the rule. This set him off!

Seriously for about an hour LB and I held this kid, his mom could see and did not ask either of us to stop. I kept repeating in order to be released he had to first ask politely, and second tell me the rules. Kid twisted and turned and fought, tried to bite, I told him I bite back, and I wasn't kidding! Kid said he hated me, I said fine. You don't get up until you ask politely, and second tell me the rules. Kid went into major whining and fake crying. I told him I wasn't buying, and I wasn't letting go. This went on and on. LB was great, he was perfect and that is not a compliment I give lightly. Eventually kid called me a name, not profanity, but rude nevertheless. I got in Kid's face, I mean drill sergeant close, like two inches away and yelled "Nobody calls me names in my own house" He would open his eyes and look at me when I spoke to him. LB told Kid, now you've really got her mad, not good, not good at all.

Once again he wanted up, once again it was explained what he needed to do, and finally he admitted he couldn't remember the rule. I got in his face again, but quieter and explained them. He asked humbly, and repeated the rules about respect and what respect meant, then LB and I let go. I hadn't been angry, just frustrated beyond reason.

After all this I hugged Kid, told I loved him (I even meant it) Then I went downstairs and listened to why Mom and Dad cannot do the same, physical problems, her heart, his back. I feel certain Kid acts out because he knows no boundaries, quite literally. I've seen Kid's mom and dad, just back down. They always talk softly and never get his attention. I don't meant to sound cruel, but with some kids a loud voice is needed to get attention.

I went and showered, LB and I had plans, and in the shower I was overwhelmed with what I had done. It was arduous, and exhausting and Kid knows I mean business and that LB will back me up .

I know I wrote earlier that I'm trying to be like Jesus, well Jesus threw the money-changers out of the temple and I don't think He was polite about it, I think He was direct. I was trying to be like Jesus and be direct. I didn't feel Christ-like at that moment, but I wasn't consumed with anger either. I don't feel guilty, but I do want to remember this experience. It was freaky whenever LB or I would mention telling the truth to him kid would squirm. For a moment or two I thought Kid might be possessed. It was freaky, LB and I talked about that at dinner.

I did give Mrs. Guest a daily scripture devotion book, and book journal. I wasn't using either and it wasn't a sacrifice to do so. Of course I made more chocolate chips cookies, just to be a brat. I tried, and pray they will be in their own space quickly!

1 comment:

Vivian Louise said...

Dealing with children is hard, but dealing with them while their parents stand by and watch is excruciating. You did the right thing, the hard thing, and that is the essence of what being Christlike is, make right choices and doing it regardless of the cost, (personal, financial, etc.)

Bravo!