There is a children's song that has as a phrase of it's lyrics, "I'm trying to be like Jesus". I'm trying, and it is a challenge. As I try I often wonder would the Savior have worried about this?
Here's another ramble. We have had extra people stay us many times over the years. Our last guest was the fiance of a friend who was struggling to recover financially after a devastating divorce. His stay lasted about 4 months. He was a delight to have, probably because we rarely saw him, but enjoyed his company when we were able to spend time with him. In those 4 months I did not feel put upon or like I was being conned. He was always straight forward and direct. When he had a setback, he communicated that to us.
We have more "guests". This time I am not feeling as gracious. Recently a woman at church was saying she and her husband had no place to go, would have to sleep in their vehicle, etc... I invited them to stay. I should have consulted with some of the locals folks first. I had seen this woman at church for a couple of months and assumed they had relocated due to one of the hurricanes that ravaged the gulf coast this past year. I assumed they were not local, and I was WRONG.
She has shared with me, some of her life, and yes it's sad, but they have lived in the area for years! I know when one assumes it makes an ass out of "u" and me. The more she tells me the more I want her and her husband and kid to go. I would not have extended the invitation had I known there was a kid. More on the kid later.
I thought it would be for a few days, but those days have turned into weeks. I should have established an exit date when I extended the invitation, I didn't, so now I have to back peddle.
The kid. Mrs. "Guest" has shared that the kid is bipolar and ADHD. Kid is NOT medicated, but on a "formula" that she receives from a "Dr." via the postal service. I don't even know if the "Dr." has ever examined Kid. Kid is also home schooled. I've seen good home schooling and bad home schooling and non-existent home schooling. This falls into the later category.
Kid has very poor social skills with peers. I suspect a hearing loss, and hear a definite speech impediment. Kid has a high laugh that is like fingernails on a chalkboard. As for the ADHD, I suspect poor parenting. Kid sat and watched a 90 minute DVD with us and barely said a word. ADHD kids rarely can do that.
Mrs. Guest has also shared that Kid has been abusive towards her. All the bells in my educator brain are ringing loud and clear, this is not a good situation. My kind and patient and long-suffering husband is not too concerned. I'm writing this as a form of therapy for myself.
Will I develop a backbone? Yes! I don't like to purposely hurt someone's feelings, it's not in my nature most of the time. I know I am being used, I know it needs to stop and I know I'm enabling. I don't like the idea of being an enabler and being manipulated. It all sounds very petty when I see this in print, but I cannot deny what my gut is telling me, but. . .
As long as I'm complaining, I feel as though I'm losing control of my refrigerator! There is more and more of the Guest's stuff and not much room for mine. I think of the story about the Bedouin and his camel in the desert during a dust storm. First the camel asked to have his nose in the tent, then his eyes, followed by his ears, until eventually the Bedouin was in the dust storm and the camel was in the tent.
well, I'm trying to be like Jesus. I've thought of the verse that talks about feeding the hungry and clothing the naked. Would Jesus have grumbled, probably not.
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1 comment:
I'd have to agree with the LadyEmm. Especially that you are one of the kindest people I know.
Jesus told us to be wise as serpents and as innocent as doves, and to be like him. So it would seem that remaining unfailingly kind while asking them to leave is the challenge. Kindness includes saying hard and uncomfortable things.
You don't have the authority or ability to change the way this woman parents (or to be precise, doesn't parent.) If she is doing something reportable, report it.
Praying for you.
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