Thursday, May 11, 2006

Ranting Demon Parent(s)

It happened, a ranting demon parent has called. (We have about 2 weeks of school left.) I was told today, by the momma of SOB, (I admit that I enjoy that alias for the kid) it was MY responsibility to make sure her child didn't fail. I was in trouble for not contacting her sooner. What did I mean there is an assignment due tomorrow? EVERYBODY up at school knew her. Her child was NOT going to repeat a grade and was NOT going to take summer school. She had already called the principal and he had agreed. Why hadn't I called her and told her I had moved SOB's seat in class? She didn't care about what I had to say, because if I was a CARING teacher I would have contacted her.

The momma also continued to rant about the FEDERALLY required testing that the states do. I'm not a fan of No Child Left Behind. I have real problems with the testing and all the pressure that goes with it. She kept telling me how teachers had pushed for all this testing stuff. That should have been my big clue that the woman had no clue. I don't know of any teacher who pushed for the testing, or even a teacher who likes it.

I am not writing about a little student, but a student in their early teens. I left school after talking with my principal, feeling frustrated. My principal listened and told me that what SOB's momma had told me was not accurate. His version of their conversation was quite different from hers. My principal told me it is my call as to whether or not SOB passes. It is SOB's responsibility to do the work and turn it in.

Let me tell you about my classroom. First of all it is user friendly. Upcoming assignments are posted in more than one prominent place. For example, my school uses a computer reading program and student are required to read a specific number of points within each grading period. Those dates are posted and discussed the first day of class. The upcoming date is also posted beneath the clock and next to the schedule. They are posted there because students always look at the clock and wonder how many minutes of class are left. I call attention to the dates at least once a week.

I have a large classroom library of probably 1,000 books. Students have access to these books on a daily basis. All the books are clearly marked as to whether or not they have a test for the computer reading program. By the way this program is used district wide and from grade 1 on up!

I write the daily assignment on the board, I have a make up calendar in the classroom and I have assignments posted on my class web page. I have tried to make it hard to fail my class. My principal commented on that and said, "How can this kid fail your class? It's difficult to fail your class." That made me feel better.

I deal with over 100 children daily. I have a fair number for whom I am required to make academic adjustments. Her child is not one who has "special" needs. Her child is IMHO lazy, does not turn in assignments and is hanging around with kids who are not a good influence. Her child is bright. Bright enough that I have talked with SOB, and tried to figure out what the problem is. Watching this kid do nothing is like watching money burn. SOB went from A's & B's to F's.
I did call the momma, I talked with her in January about SOB's dropping grades. She wasn't concerned. She did not email me, or contact me after progress reports and report cards went home. When I heard nothing from her, I figured it wasn't important to her. There are parents who don't care about the grades.

I do understand that momma is panicked. The school year is ending and SOB isn't doing well. She feels like she needs to blame someone, and I am handy. I found out SOB's not doing well in other classes and for the same reasons. I've had one of my own kids pull the same stunts. It's a frustrating place to be.

I hope there are not a lot more ranting demon parents out there just waiting to ambush teachers who have worked very hard at a difficult job. Making do with low pay, lack of respect and an increasing level of responsibility. Let me make this clear to all the ranting parents who might read this. I am not your child's parent. That is your job. I am not a babysitter, I don't get paid enough. I am not here to entertain your child. My job is the tough one to make your child think and I hope learn. It is your job ask to see their work. If there is a problem, let me know. I have access to a school phone only during my lunch time and planning period, if I leave my room. I do have email that I check as frequently as I can. That is the easiest and fastest way to communicate with me.

If I call you after school hours it will be on my time, time that I would like to spend with my own family. Stop and think, am I asking this teacher to do more than I am willing to do at my job? If you are not willing to take phone calls after hours, have a business conference anytime you run into a client, or patient, why do you expect that from teachers?

Yes education is my business, my profession. Yes I get off a couple of months during the summer. But I also pay for my own continuing education courses required for me to maintain my certification. I spend far too much of my own money on supplemental material for the classroom. I work long days, attend student performances, help with school activities, show up at school dances, assist with clubs, and the list could go on.

There, I 've vented and I feel better. I hope this rant of mine opens the eyes of a few people. I'm all too sure that the other teachers who read this are nodding their heads and saying "Preach it".

8 comments:

Mike in Texas said...

I've met lots of those. Their little darling doesn't ever do anything wrong and they never have a clue their child was doing so porrly in school, why didn't you tell them?

About once a week we have a parent come storming up to the school over something their child told them a teacher did, only to find out the child didn't tell them the whole story. The sad part is, these parents believe anything the child tells them.

CaliforniaTeacherGuy said...

Yup, that's exactly what I'm saying: "Preach it, sister!" Maybe someday, somewhere, parents will wake up and take responsibility for their children instead of expecting teachers to be the surrogate parents.

Thanks for your rant. It was exactly what I needed to hear as I go back into my own classroom this morning to face at least a couple of students who act remarkably like your own SOB!

Ms. H said...

Hallelujah!!

EHT said...

Sorry I haven't added you to my blogroll yet. I've been meaning to but I don't guess I have to tell you about end of the year things to do. Why do we feel we have to justify ourselves when parents act out? I do it too. We all do it. You sent home the required grade reports, you have had a meeting with said parent. End of story. You have done your job. It amazes me how many parents receive grade reports with failing grades and simply sign them and return them without comment or request for conference. I make an overture once, twice, maybe three times (all documented for my file) and if the parent doesn't respond I drop it. I can't keep attempting to contact them when I have so many others to reach who want to converse with me in an intelligent manner.

Dan Edwards said...

.....and when SOB is a 22-year old, unemployed high school dropout, unmarried with three kids by various sperm donors, Demon Parent will still rant and blame everyone but herself.

Then again, maybe this failure of SOB and her mama will be the lesson needed for SOB to wake up and realize she needs to get her act together.....

I have added you to my blogroll! Keep up with your blogging!

Onyx said...

I can't thank you enough for the support. I feel validated. I should be able to deal with this as a part of the job, but like the rest of you we take our work seriously and it means a lot to us. If it didn't we would do something else. I have so enjoyed all of your blogs!

CP said...

Oh yeah, I am so there. I can mentally scroll down my own roll of "SOB"s. Had one of their parents sit in on my class last week. THAT was an experience!!

"Ms. Cornelius" said...

You know what SOB's numero uno problem is?

Momma.

Momma who always takes his side instead of insisting that he put in some effort; Momma who claims the world is out to get her darling child; Momma who insists that you jump through more hoops than a trained dolphin.

Momma. She ain't helping, but she sure as anything is creating a culture of entitlement in then home.