Tuesday, May 16, 2006

Still hanging in there

It's Tuesday. I didn't sleep well last night. I finally fell asleep about 2 am and the alarm goes off at 6. I felt groggy all day and told the kids. They asked why I couldn't sleep so I told them. My brain would not be quiet. It happens to them sometimes too!

I have what I call busy brain syndrome. I doubt that any medical professional would know what I mean. Sometimes my brain has a party and it doesn't invite me. It's like living with a noisy upstairs neighbor, except it doesn't help to pound on the ceiling.

I thought about what I need to pack into our hurricane evacuation suitcase and made a mental list. Yep it's that time again. Then I thought about new furniture, and rearranging. My brain sang a few songs and tap danced and then I decided to come upstairs and read blogs. I do that sometimes. It helps, I realize that my experiences are like a lot of others but somehow seeing it in print and reading about squirrel boy (now who does not have one of those?) helps me to feel connected, and not alone.

I thought about the two kids who had been busted Friday. Seeing their faces, I can't forget it, or the mom who threatened to beat the _____ out of her kid. I totally understood her emotion! The administrators looked exhausted, mostly out of sadness for kids who have made some bad choices. I don't know either one of the kids except by reputation.

Today we had another fight. One girl pushed another up against a locker and proceeded to pound away. It took 3 teachers to get the two separated and deal with crowd control. What was it about? Girl A like the boys who eat lunch with girl B, so girl A decided to teach girl B a lesson. Yeah right like that will work. One teacher got punched a couple of times, and may press charges.

I did finish all my end of the year tests, and they are in the copy room waiting to be run off. I did it different this year! I made the kids turn in a list of 10 questions they expected to see on a test, and provide answers. I got some great questions! So my finals came from student generated questions, and I didn't pick just the stupid questions or the hard questions, but a measure of both. I also added 5 short essay questions about what they had learned and enjoyed and want to see changed. I get the best feedback from those questions and they help me to do a better job.

I am so tired! I did walk 1 1/2 miles last night 'cuz I bought new walking shoes and did another 3/4 mile this morning to try and wake up. I signed up for 3 days of summer workshops, so hopefully I will get some extra technology out of this. Started piling up my list of summer reads as I compile the lists the kids gave me of books they would recommend.

I view myself a bridge for these kids. (Yeah they would like to walk all over me) but as the school year progresses each class becomes like a family , some functional and others dysfunctional. We do a lot of sharing about life in general. It's hard to teach reading without sharing the real life stories . We've all learned a lot about each other. For 4 of my classes these next few days will be my last ones with them, and for others they will probably have me again for another subject next year. I like having kids for more than one year (most of the time). I get to see a lot of growth and change.

Down here, there is the end of the year battle of the kids who have all their credits to graduate, but they cannot pass a portion of the state test. Do we let them walk in the ceremony or not? I say let them walk, and send the diploma in the mail.

Our sister district across the Interstate has decided to apparently void all contracts at a specific school and make all the teachers re-apply for jobs. This is for ONE campus only, and is due to the low scores on the state test. I am not applying over there. First they got rid of the principal. Yeah let's blame the guy in the office. Now this. I don't want to work in that district. It couldn't possibly be the students who didn't do much that caused scores to be low. Nope it had to be the principal and when they got rid of him the teachers went nuts. It's a conspiracy! Nope it's the Blame Game!

Gets out soap box, steps up and clears throat:
Ladies and gentlemen, mothers, fathers, mommies and daddies. Blame can be spread around thickly. But rather than point at everyone else, evaluate what you personally could do, should do and are doing to improve the academic life of your child. Let's try some traditional stuff, like a regular bed time, no computer or phones after a decent hour. Basic conversation, and compassion. Maybe all eat together for a meal that is not fast food. Now for the more challenging, parents drop the attitude your darling can do no wrong. You know that's a lie, you've been watching them. If you don't allow them their failures, they cannot own their success. Parents stop doing your kids homework, we can tell, your writing is neater and has better spelling. Part of learning is learning how not to do something, as well as learning how to.

Anyway that's what I have to say today. Nothing major or profound, just another day at school, and they are winding down quickly. As am I. I'll end this while I can still see and get some much needed sleep. My friends hang in there! Take it one day at a time. Yes there is much that can make one feel so frustrated in this business, but don't forget the aha moments that we see and almost no one else does. The moments that make it all worthwhile. Here's hoping to a good nights sleep. I need it.

1 comment:

Vivian Louise said...

"Now for the more challenging, parents drop the attitude your darling can do no wrong. You know that's a lie, you've been watching them. If you don't allow them their failures, they cannot own their success."

You could not be more right. Watching a child fall, scrape a knee or fail a test could be hard if your concern is only for the child. But I wonder how many parents see their children as a direct extension of themselves and don't allow any criticism there either? It's arrogance and real distain for others and well as an unhealthy dose of unreality that admits no fault. What they don't seem to realize is that they do much more harm than good by wrongly shielding their spawn.